Monday, July 29, 2013

Fred, the mixed up duck

Once upon a time there was a girl who really wanted a duck. Every time she went to the feed store she would look at those sweet little ducklings and wish she could take a couple home. But her better judgement always won out and she left with no ducks. Time and again she looked at those ducks and knew she didn't NEED a duck. Then one night her husband took her to dinner and bought her a strawberry daiquiri. Now this girl did not drink often at all.... and during the meal she expressed how she would like to have a duck. So what did her husband do? He drove her tipsy behind to the feed store and bought her two ducks!!! Being tipsy her better judgment was left in the backseat of the car and she rode home with a box of ducks in her lap.

The ducklings were cute... oh so very cute. Their first splash in the tub had the whole family giggling. They watched cartoons with the children and they grew. And they grew and grew and began to stink. Daily the girl would plop them in the tub to paddle and splash (and get clean, because they stunk) and she would clean their pen. But soon the smell in the dining room was just too much, the cute little ducklings were getting too big and it was time for them to move outside.....

Much to the girls joy, the ducks turned out to be a male and a female! Exactly what she thought she had picked out (it was her first time sexing ducks and remember she was tipsy!) Not only would their be duck eggs for baking with, but a handsome male to bring color to the yard. That little male duck was named Fred. Over time, Fred's head began to turn green for he was a Rouen Duck (they look like mallards only heavier.) Fred was maturing. The girl loved the way the sun shone on Fred's green head feathers. And then one day, Fred with his new adult plumage, mounted his female companion, Ginger. The ducks had grown up.

The girl adored how Fred and Ginger went every where together..... like a sweet married couple. She would find them sleeping together, eating together, chasing down the chickens together!?!?!? Wait a minute! And then one day the girl saw Ginger HELP Fred corner one of the hens and he had his way with her!!!! *** This fairy tale just came to a screaming halt*** Fred (with the help of his mate) began mounting the chickens.... and not just the full grown ones, oh no, he went after the young pullets too. He injured the little pullets in his quest for dominance. And Ginger... how could she help hem!?!!? Was she as mixed up and twisted as he was? What was wrong with these ducks!!!

The girl was sad. Here perfect little male duck, was a twisted chicken mounter. He was neither kind or loving in his conquests. She had raised him better then this!! And so it began, the constant peeking out the window to check he was behaving. And when he was not she would run into the yard with a broom to get the heavy beast off the hens. Fred spent time in "duck jail" aka a dog pen. But every time Fred got out of "duck jail" he would go right back after the chickens. But the chickens knew the girl would save them when Fred chased them and so they always ran to her if she were in the yard.


The poor girl was beside herself... She loved Fred but she had to protect the chickens. Luckily the alpha hen took a stand and began pecking Fred when every he got too close to the hens. And the main hen he "likes" manages most of the time to get away. And the little pullets found safety in the blackberry bushes. And for now anyway, Fred still has a home. The girl hopes Fred is just being a mixed up duck because he just became, umm, well, a man. Only time will tell......




12 comments:

  1. Sounds like my Brian, my 1 year old Black Cayuga. As soon as my roos start in on the hens, Brian seems to think he should have a turn also. I have rescued more than one banty hen out from under him. But he protects them from the other roos that they do not "belong" to, also. Funny group.

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  2. That is absolutely hilarious! I have never heard of such a thing! I know it's probably not too funny for you, but it sure is a good story to tell! Thanks for my little chuckle of the day.

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    1. It is funny but sad... poor Ester is so stressed she has stopped laying. I about died the other day when I went out and found Fred IN the chicken coup... little stalker.

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  3. Happy Friday! My Friday Flash Blog linky party is live @ The Jenny Evolution – a flash mob of blogs where you share your favorite posts of the week. Hope to see you there -- you may just get highlighted next week!

    Jennifer
    thejennyevolution.com

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    1. Thanks for the invite... I will pop over and look around :)

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  4. He's a dog! ROFL, that is so funny and never heard of that :(

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  5. A Bisexual Duck???? (Is that even the right term!)

    And I thought Pigeons were weird!

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    1. LOL He is NOT bisexual!! He is BiSpieces.... is that even the right term...... Fred is just, well, "randy."

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  6. Too funny! Perhaps a session or two with the duck psychotherapist would help. LOL!

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  7. This is too funny! Thanks for sharing at Tuesdays with a Twist!
    YOU have been features for Tuesdays with a Twist at Back to the Basics!
    Come on over and link up any new post!

    http://back2basichealth.blogspot.com/2013/08/tuesdays-with-twist-18-and-more.html

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  8. Sounds like you need a rooster to put Fred in his place. Thanks for sharing on the HomeAcre Hop. Please come back and see us this week: http://everythinghomewithcarol.com/the-self-sufficient-homemaker-hop-2/

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  9. Wowwwwww. I am a great fan of ducks and want to start duck farming business. Your blog is very informative & beautiful with awesome photos. Thanks!

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